


Can't Be Without You

by LIKEABOSSFOREVER



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depressed Jack, M/M, Mark is a jerk, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-08 03:45:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5482172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LIKEABOSSFOREVER/pseuds/LIKEABOSSFOREVER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark leaves Jack and the Irishman goes into depression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jack woke up to find the space next to him in the bed empty.That wasn't too unusual.Mark always got up at eight in the morning.The clock on the nightstand read 12:00 p.m.Strange.Mark dragged Jack out of bed at ten."Mark?"he called.No answer.Maybe he had to go somewhere. Not weird at all.The Irishman got up and stretched.He headed to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal.Jack grabbed the milk from the fridge.When he closed the door,a note fluttered down.He picked it up.

"Jack,when you read this,I will be gone.I cannot stay with you anymore.Your boyfriend is something I don't want to be.I'm sorry,but I have found someone else.Maybe we will see each other again.Love,Mark."

Jack stared at the letter.Tears began to form in his eyes.Mark left him?Why would he do something like that?Just last night,he had said how much he enjoyed them being together."Why Mark?"Jack whispered.He grabbed his phone and dialed Mark's number."I'm sorry.The number you are trying to reach has been disconected,"the automatic voice spoke."Arrghh!"Jack screamed.He chucked the phone across the room.It hit the wall and smashed into pieces.Sobbing,he sat down at the table.He couldn't control the tears that flooded down his face.Jack continued to cry for about three minutes.He got up and walked back to their bed.No,correction.His bed.It was his bed now.Jack's heart felt heavy."It's just a prank.That's it.A prank,"Jack stated.But when he searched the apartment for cameras,he found nothing.The tears came back.Jack ran back to his room,slammed the door,and hid under his bed covers,crying.All he could think was,"Why did you leave me Mark?"  
...............................................................................................  
Mark laid his head on the other man's shoulder."Just think Logan.Only two more days,then we're out of here to New York."Logan smiled down at his new boyfriend."My parents will love you Mark,"he said.They kissed."Are you ready to start our life together?" "Of course.Why do you think I'm moving in with you?"Logan laughed."Oh I don't know,because of my good looks?"he joked.Mark chuckled as well."That's part of it,"he answered."I'm going to get a soda,want one?"he asked while getting up."Pepsi pleas."Mark grinned."Do you ever drink anything else?" "Probably not."Mark shook his head and left to grab the drinks. He came back to find Logan looking at a picture."Who's this?"he asked,showing the photo to Mark.It was a photograph of Mark and Jack at a nightclub.Mark smiled slightly."That's my old boyfriend Jack,"he responded."He looks familiar,"Logan noted."You might have seen his YouTube channel,"Mark stated."He has a channel called JackSepticEye." "Oh yeah,I remember.He's funny,"Logan said."Yeah.We went out for three years.I left him yesterday so I could come over here to get ready to go." "He seems like a nice guy,"Logan commented."He is.But let's talk about our place in New York,"Mark said."Alright.I got a great deal on it from a friend of mine."


	2. Chapter 2

Jack lay curled up in the bathroom,crying.Beer bottles were scattered around.All empty.Nothing could be worse than what he was going through.Mark was the only person he ever loved.And now the fucker had left him."Why?Why would ye leave me?"Jack asked through tears.He groaned in pain before emptying the contents of his stomach.A sound came from the computer.Jack slowly stood up to go check what it was.A new video from Mark.He debated on whether he should watch it.Sighing,Jack clicked on the video."Hello everybody.My name is Markiplier and this is my boyfriend Logan."Jack stared at the new guy.He was one of those perfect types.Light brown hair,green eyes,tall.Jack choked back a sob."I just recently met Logan and in two days,we are going to move to New York."New York?Anger built up inside of Jack.He continued to watch."So you may be wondering what happened with me and Jack.Thing is,I left him." "FUCK YOU!"Jack screamed.He punched the table.How could Mark just say that he left Jack so causually?Tears fell down his face again."Fuck you Mark,"he sobbed.Jack ran back to the bathroom and locked the door.He went to the sink and opened up the cabinet.Inside was a box of razors.He tore it open and grabbed one.Should he do this?No.Just because Mark is a jerk,doesn't mean that he should kill himself.But what would it matter?Slowly,he dragged the blade down his arm.A red line appeared.It hurt like hell,but it wasn't deep enough to kill him.He slid down onto the floor and cried until he passed out.  
...............................................................................................  
"Mark,did you really have too say that you left Jack on the Internet?"Logan asked."Why,somthing wrong?"Mark questioned."Yeah.He might have seen it.You could've hurt his feelings."Mark rolled his eyes."It doesn't matter.We're going too be in New York soon,"Mark replied.Logan frowned."I don't like you this way,"he spoke quietly."What way?"Logan looked at him."Acting like you don't care about anyone else,"he responded."Hey,I care about people,"Mark said angerly.Logan shook his head."Okay.I'll stop."They resumed packing.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack heard his phone go off for the hundredth time that day.He didn't even bother looking at it.All it was were notifications from Twitter and YouTube.And they were all about what had happened.Then he realized the tone of the noise was different.Not a notification,but a text.Jack picked up the phone and checked it.A message from Felix.

"I saw the video.Are you okay?"it read.Jack thought long about his answer.If he said no,Felix would probably fly to Ireland just to help him.That's how good of a friend he was."I'm fine.Don't worry about me,"Jack typed."Okay.But you know you can talk to me if you need anything,"was the reply.Jack smiled slightly for the first time in a while."Thanks,"he wrote."I'll talk later.Got a lot of stuff going on." "Okay.Later."Jack put the phone back down on the table.It then began to go crazy as more people saw Mark's video.Sighing,he turned the phone off,not wanting to deal with everyone.He walked to the bathroom and grabbed the razor.Another red line appeared.After cleaning up the blood,Jack went to the kitchen and grabbed a few beers.He downed one of them just walking to the living room.

Jack sat down on the couch and stared at the TV.Nothing good was on,but he didn't care.He downed the rest of the drinks.Finally,he gave in and went to the computer to check Twitter and YouTube.People were mostly going on about the breakup,as expected,but some were saying how much of a jerk Mark was to leave Jack.It made him feel only a little bit better.Jack turned off the computer and sat back in his chair.A sudden rage built up inside him.Before he knew it,Jack had punched the computer monitor.Bits of plastic flew in all directions.His hand hurt badly."Fuck everyone,"he growled."I don't need yer help."  
...............................................................................................  
"Um,Mark?Can we talk?"Logan asked."I'm busy,"Mark replied."It will only be a second."Mark sighed and faced his boyfriend."What do you want?"Logan looked down at the floor."Your attitude lately has been a concern for me,"he spoke."What attitude?I don't have an attitude,"Mark argued."Yes you do.You've been acting like you only care about yourself.I hate that about you."Mark glared at the man."I don't care about myself,"he replied sharply."That's where you're wrong,"Logan stated."You've been pretending that Jack never even came into your life.Not only that,but you've gone so far as to delete every video with him in it."Mark rolled his eyes."I'm trying not to clutter up my channel with stupid videos,"he responded."So playing with your friends is stupid?"Mark tried to think of something to say,but was left with nothing."Forget this.Let's just keep packing,"he said.Logan frowned.His boyfriend was acting very strange.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack looked at the razor in his hand.Why couldn't he just end his life now?Jack had aways felt suicidal.Mark had been the one to help him.But Mark wasn't here anymore.So what could stop him from killing himself?Jack wanted to die.He wanted the pain and suffering to finally be over.But something still held him back.He made another red line appear.He was about to make another when he fell to his knees,sobbing."I can't do this anymore,"Jack whispered.He stood up and walked to the recording space.He turned on the camera and sat down.

"Top of the morning to you laddies,"he spoke,not bothering to high five."So most of you have heard that me and Mark aren't together anymore."Jack held back the tears in his eyes and kept talking."It's true.And another thing.I'm not going to make anymore videos."He knew that the fan base would explode with comments about this,but he didn't care."It's just too much stress on my life,and I can't do this anymore.I'm sorry."He turned the camera off and uploaded the video.Just as expected,tons of comments flooded in.They were mostly concerned,but some were suprisingly negative.Those comments made Jack feel terrible."Fuck them,"he mumbled."I won't have to deal with them anymore."  
...............................................................................................  
Logan sat at the computer,watching Jack's new video."Mark,get in here,"he commanded.Mark walked in and sat down."What?"he asked."Look what you've done to Jack,"Logan commented.He replayed the video.Mark rolled his eyes."I never knew he was such a crybaby,"he stated.Logan stared at him."How could you say that?You ruined his life!"he shouted."Logan,people leave other people.It's the way life works,"Mark spoke."And I bet Jack is just trying to make us feel bad.He would never stop making videos."Fury built up inside of Logan."People leave people,huh?Then get the fuck out of my house!"he yelled.

"What?!You can't do that!"Mark cried."Yes I can.Get out.I don't want to see your fucking face ever again,"Logan spat."I'm the best thing that's ever happened in your life!"Mark exclaimed."You can't just dump me!I'm Markiplier for fuck's sake!"Logan stepped up to Mark and punched him straight in the jaw."Get out of my house or I swear to god I will kill you."Mark looked up at him,tears in his eyes."Fine.I'm going." "Good riddance!"Logan shouted.The door slammed as he sat down."Mark,I hope I never see you again for the rest of my life."


	5. Chapter 5

Jack lay in his bed,curled up and crying.Why did he stop making videos?They had been his only escape since Mark had left.Now he had just threw it all away.He continued to sob,all alone in the darkness of his room.They bed he lay in felt too big for one person.Jack remembered all the times he and Mark had cuddled together in this same bed.But that was all over.Jack grabbed his razor from the nightstand and looked at it.The blade was stained red from all of the cuts he had made on his arms with it.Jack wanted to cut again,but there was no more empty space on his arms.He placed the blade on his leg and dragged it down.

"Fuck,"he whispered.It hurt worse on his legs than on his arms.Jack cried in pain when he finished.The blood seeped from the cut and onto the bed sheets.He didn't bother to clean it up.He laid back down and cried like a child."I wish I could die,"he thought."Then I won't have to deal with Mark,or the commenters,or anyone."A ding came from his phone.Jack picked it up and looked at the notification.New video from Mark.Should he watch it?He clicked onto YouTube and watched the new vlog.

"Hello everybody.My name is Markiplier and I just want to say that I am now single again."Jack listened to the words in awe."Last night I broke up with Logan and now I'm going to move back to my old house."Jack sighed.Of course Mark wouldn't come back to him."So things will be crazy for a while,but I will still make videos.And as always,I will see you,in the next video.Bye-bye."

Comments flooded in.Most said that Mark deserved to be single.Some said that he was still a jerk.Jack closed out of YouTube and stared up at the rotating ceiling fan.A faint knock came from the door.Jack groaned an rolled out of bed.He dragged himself to the front door and opened it.Standing there was a man Jack thought he would never see again.

"Mark?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's short.


	6. Chapter 6

Just a note while I write chapter six.Thank you so much for reading this story.I have loved writing this so far.This was actually going to be a one-shot,but then I started to develop it into a full story.And I also want to say,thank you for the support.I never knew that this was going to get so many readers.And don't worry,the story is not over yet.Cry,Ken,and Felix will make appearances.So just hold on to your asses guys.This will get deep.And I just realized that I hadn't put Ken,Cry,and Felix's names in the character section.Sorry.But they will be in this.And I know that I'm kind of cheating you out of a chapter but this had to be said.And again,thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey,"Mark said causually.Jack stared at him."Can I come in?"he asked.Jack stepped aside and allowed Mark in."Why are ye here?"Jack questioned."I'm going to let you take me back,"Mark replied.

Jack narrowed his eyes."Take ye back?"he repeated."Yeah,I'm giving you a second chance,"Mark spoke.Jack felt rage inside him."Ye think I'm gonna take ye back after all the shit you've given me?!"he yelled."Oh come on.Like you don't want me,"Mark said."You know,I'm basically the reason your so popular on Youtube." "No yer not!Reality check Markimoo!You haven't done shit for me on YouTube!Felix was the one who helped me!"Jack shouted.

"Fine.I guess I'm too good for you then,"Mark stated.Jack punched him hard across the jaw."Yer not good enough fer anyone!All ye ever did while living here was laze around and make videos.I cooked,I shopped,I cleaned,I did every fucking thing in this house and ye never helped!"he spat."Ye don't deserve ta be with anyone."Mark stared at Jack.Without a word,he turned around and left.Jack was surprised.Why did Mark just leave like that?And that look...Could it be possible that Mark still loved him?Jack couldn't help but feel bad.Where was Mark going anyway?  
...............................................................................................  
Mark sat on the sidewalk.What would he do now?When he said that he was moving back to LA,he lied.The house belonged to Matt and Ryan and they had kicked Mark out.The man sighed.He knew how much of a jerk he had been lately.First losing Logan,then Jack.Mark sighed.Jack was right.He didn't deserve anyone.Tears fell down his face.What was he going to do now?


	8. Chapter 8

Jack sat on his bed,looking at a picture of him and Mark.He remembered that night well.The photo had been taken at their first date.He smiled a little at the memory.It had been two years ago when they first went out with each other.Jack still had the date fresh in his mind.

-Flashback-  
"Jack,come on.Just call him,"Felix spoke.Jack paced nervously in his friends living room."I can't Felix.I'm gonna goof up and then Mark won't want ta go out with me,"he replied."You can't just up and call your date and ask them if they want to go somewhere."Felix rolled his eyes."Well,in case you didn't know,when me and Marzia were starting off,I made the first move,"he stated.

"That's because yer you!"Jack exclaimed."It doesn't matter if you made the first move,but with me it does.I'll fuck up and then Mark won't want ta go out with me."Felix couldn't believe how scared Jack was.Then,a plan formed in his mind."Can I use your phone for a second?"he asked."Mine is dead and I need to call Marzia to ask when she'll be home." "Sure,"Jack mumbled.Felix grabbed the cell and ran to the kitchen.

"Okay,let's see where Mark's number is,"he whispered.The Swede scrolled through the list of contacts until he found Mark.He smiled and clicked on the "message"option.

"Hey.Do you want to go out tonight?"Felix typed.A reply was sent about a minute later. 

"Sure!Where do you want to go?"

Felix thought for a moment before typing again.

"There's a really cool nightclub that Ken told me about that's only a thirty minute drive away."

"Okay,I'll come pick you up.Where are you?"

"At Felix's house.Can you come by eight?"

"Yeah.See you."

Felix grinned like a madman.He strolled back to the living room where Jack was still freaking out."You have the greatest friend in the world,"he announced."Why's that?"Jack questioned."I've hooked you up with a date with Mark,"Felix responded."YOU WHAT?!"Jack cried.He snatched his phone from the other man and scrolled through the recent texts."You son of a bitch!"he shouted."Ye had no right ta do that!"

"Well,at least you'll be doing something tonight instead of sulking out here."If Jack was freaked out before,then he was terrified now.At eight o' clock sharp,a knock was heard at the door."Hey Mark,"Felix greeted."Hey.Where's Jack?" "In the living room."Felix led Mark to where Jack was."Your date has arrived,"he teased.Both Jack and Mark went light shades of pink."Do ye want ta go now?"Jack asked."Yeah.Let's go."Thet walked out to the car.

"So,a nightclub huh?Never knew you cared for those types of places,"Mark noted as he stuck the key into the ignition. "I thought I would give it a try,"Jack replied,still scared beyond reason.The pair headed on their way to the nightclub.

The following night was probably the best of both their lives.

The two lovers partied all night.They danced and drank.Jack even got to the point to where he had gotten so drunk,that he passed out.Mark hadn't drank that much and was able to drive home.When they arrived at Mark's place,he had to carry Jack in because the Irishsman could barely stand.

"Mark,I love ye,"Jack cooed while in the arms of his boyfriend.Mark smiled."I love you too,"he said.They both had a perfect date.

-Flashback Over-  
Jack continued to stare at the picture.Tears came and fell onto it.Maybe he should have taken Mark back.But it was to late now.

In a hotel not far from Jack's apartment,a man named Mark was writing a note for anyone to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank the good Lord that I finally posted a new chapter.I have written this chapter five times.I repeat.FIVE FUCKING TIMES!My phone (which is what I write on)has been giving me a lot of shit lately.It's been glitching and it kept on deleting the save I had.So that's why it's taken so long to get this up.That and school being a pain in the ass.


	9. Chapter 9

Mark tapped his pencil against the desk.In front of him was a sheet of paper.What would he write?Mark kept pondering about the words he intended to write down.He finally formed the words and began to scribble away.He finished the note and reread it.It read as followed.

To whoever finds this letter,  
I am sorry.I can't take this anymore.I'm finally going to do something good for everyone and not be around.All I've done lately is being a jerk to everyone.Especially my boyfriend.So this is goodbye.At least no one will have to put up my shit anymore.

-Mark Fischbach

Mark put the pencil down and sat back in his chair.He fished his phone from his pocket and typed in Jack's number.

Mark:I'm so sorry  
...............................................................................................  
Jack was on his computer,looking at Mark's channel.He hadn't uploaded today.That was strange.Mark never missed a video.His cell went off and he answered it.A call from Ken.

"Hey,what's been going on?"the cheerful man asked.It suddenly struck Jack that Ken hadn't heard about everything that had been happening lately."Shit's gone down,"Jack sighed.He told his friend everything.When he finished,Ken was silent on the other end."Damn,"was all he said."Can we talk later?I kinda want to be alone right now,"Jack stated.Ken said bye and hung up.Jack thought back to when Cry,Ken,and Felix found out that they were dating.

-Flashback-  
It had been Cry who suggested that they go to a bar.Being the Irishsman he was,Jack agreed.Mark tagged along as well.The pair wanted to tell their friends that they were going out,but couldn't find the courage to.Both were afraid that their friends wouldn't like them being gay.

"I'll treat you all like the amazingly great friend I am,"Cry spoke.Jack rolled his eyes at the remark.The group got their preferred drinks and sat down to talk about stuff."Uh oh,looks like somebody isn't able to take the booze,"Ken teased.Jack had already downed three drinks and he was really of his rocker."Shut up Ken,"Jack laughed,his words slurred together.Mark was also very drunk at this point.

"Should we tell them?"he whispered into Jack's ear."Not yet,"Jack replied."Later."Ken,Cry,and Felix got up to get more drinks.Jack and Mark took this opportunity to share a kiss.The affection started to turn into a small make-out session.Both being super drunk,began to embrace themselves in each other.

"Get a room!"Felix laughed.Jack and Mark looked up,both looking like deer caught in headlights."Cry,you owe me twenty bucks,"Ken said.Cry mumbled some curse words and pulled the money from his pocket."Y...yer not mad?"Jack asked."Of course not dude,"Cry responded."We all knew you two would get together eventually."The two men turned dark shades of red.The rest of the night went smooth.

-Flashback Over-  
Jack smiled at the memory.A sudden "ding" snapped him from his daze.He checked his phone.

Message from:Mark  
I'm so sorry


	10. Chapter 10

Jack looked at the text quizzically.Something about it made him feel wierd.Quickly,he typed a message.

"Are you okay?"

Jack waited for a reply.None came.He was beginning to worry.He didn't know what exactly,but there was something wrong with Mark's text.Jack decided that he needed to check on him.He knew that Mark was staying at a hotel not far from the apartment building.Jack grabbed his coat and keys and rushed out the door.  
...............................................................................................  
Jack arrived at the hotel five minutes later.He walked up to the front desk."Can ye tell me what room Mark Fischbach is in?"he asked."Let's see.He's in room 422,"the woman replied.Jack thanked her and raced upstairs."420,421,here we are,"he said to himself.But a note taped to the door caught the Irishsman's attention.He took it down and read it.

"Oh shit,"Jack whispered."Mark's gonna kill himself."Jack knocked on the room's door and surprisingly found it unlocked.He stepped in."Mark?"Jack called out.Nothing.He checked the entire place.Mark wasn't here.

"Where is he?"Jack pondered.He then remembered a time a few months ago when he asked a strange question.Jack had been really depressed at the time and had asked Mark that if he ever wanted to commit suicide,how would he do it?Mark had replied,"If I ever wanted to kill myself,even though I'd never do that,I would jump off a building.So I could see what's it's like to fly."

Jack ran up the stairs,his heart pounding in his chest."Please be okay,please be okay,"he silently prayed.Jack got to the top of the building and penned the door that led to the rooftop.Sitting on the ledge was a man with black hair,wearing something he called his "lucky flannel"."Mark!"Jack cried.The other man turned to see Jack standing there.Jack could see the hurt in his dark brown eyes.

"Why are you here?"he asked."You should be celebrating." "Celebrating what?"Jack questioned."The day you finally got rid of me,"Mark replied.Jack's heart dropped a mile."Mark,please,don't kill yerself!"he begged.Mark glanced down at the pavement below and looked back at Jack."Why shouldn't I?My life has been full of crazy shit and I'm about sick and tired of it!"he yelled.Jack stepped a little closer."Please.I still love ye.Even if ye don't love me back." 

"That's the thing!"Mark shouted."You just don't understand.I still love you!"


	11. Chapter 11

Jack looked at Mark,surprised.Mark still loved him?"But then,why did ye leave?"he asked.Mark sighed."I never wanted to.But I had to.The thing is,my mom never liked you.She dispised you.She told me that I couldn't see you anymore but I didn't care what she said.So she kicked me out.The reason I moved in with Matt and Ryan is because I had nowhere else to go."

"Then they found out I was gay.So they kicked me out as well.I had no home so I crashed at a friend's house.That friend was Logan.We had known each other for years and I always knew that he liked me.But of course,I didn't like him back.I tried telling him that,but he wouldn't listen.I then knew the only way to get a good house was to move in with Logan.But he had plans to live in New York.So I decided that I needed to leave with him."

Mark finished his story."Now I have no home,no money,and I don't know what to do anymore."Jack felt pain in his heart."Mark,ye don't have ta be alone.I still love ye,no matter what happens."Mark looked up at Jack."But I just can't do this,"he sobbed."Jack,I just want it to be over."Jack wrapped his arms around Mark."I'm always gonna be here fer you,"he whispered."And please know that killing yerself isn't an option."Mark hugged back."I never want to be with anyone else but you,"he said."Your the only person I've ever truly loved."The pair stood on the rooftop,in each other's arms,crying.

"We're both big bawl babies,"Jack laughed."Yeah,we are."Mark pulled away from the hug and looked at Jack.Before he even knew it,Jack had pressed his lips against Mark's.The two kissed for what seemed like and eternity.They finally broke apart and smiled at each other."I love ye,you big doof,"Jack said playfully."And I love you a thousand times more,"Mark replied.


	12. Chapter 12

That's it guys!The story is finally done.I'm glad you all liked it and thank you for taking time to read it.It was just a roller coaster of emotions but I'm still happy with it.Thank you all so much and as always I will see you,in the next fanfic.Bye-bye!

-LIKEABOSSFOREVER 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5/31/2016  
> How is this still my most popular work? It's not that good.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [When Angels fall with broken wings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5753923) by [Roosterbytes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roosterbytes/pseuds/Roosterbytes)




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